Can someone really just fall in love with the idea of love and just compensate for the person they are with.... They just want that passionate love and companionship,they are willing to compromise and change what is really there....and when they move on so quickly to another passionate love did they ever really love their ex....or was it just the passion high?
Do they think this is love? do they think that is how love work.....
Or am i the one that has love confused?
....sigh
I agree with you that some people are in love with the idea of love. They love to be in a relationship because of what it can offer them and not necessarily the person they are with. It seems like these people that jump from relationship to relationship are not comfortable being by themselves and like the comfort to always have that person there.
ReplyDeleteLove! That is tricky. There are so many people out there that are addicted to love or sex, jumping from one relationship to the next to satisfy a hunger for something that cannot be fulfilled by another person. I read a great book called Zen and the Art of Falling in love "with you." We put so much emphasis on romantic love in our culture. I understand that propagation of the species is important or there won’t be a species, but as you get older, you will find that you need intellectual engagement, emotional support and social interaction from a wide variety of people. When you are in love with your life, you have enough love to share with everybody; you can embody that “in love” feeling and carry it with you all the time because you aren’t dependent on being emotionally fulfilled by another person. If you think about it, “romantic love” is about controlling another person’s feelings about you. Impossible! That kind of starry eyed love tends to be very self-serving and unrealistic. I am not saying that it isn’t exciting. It can be very exciting when all of your expectations of romantic fulfillment momentarily fall into place, but that moment generally passes, because at the beginning of a relationship the people often compromise or hide some aspects of their personality to get their needs met. Eventually controlling your behavior and trying to control someone else’s becomes exhausting. Also, there is a false expectation that we have to find that one soul mate in a spouse, boyfriend/girlfriend or a sexual partner. In fact, a soul mate, or someone you share a higher affinity for, might not be your spouse, it could be a friend, a teacher, a passing acquaintance or several different people. Too often we limit our lives by being stingy with love and only connecting with a few exclusive people. There are so many wonderful, interesting people in the world to get to know. What would happen if we opened our hearts? Romantic "love,” just like sex, can be amazing, but it can also be limiting and addicting. Remember, that romantic love feeling does not change the world; it changes your feelings about the world. The fearlessness, the “everything in the world is beautiful”, the “in love” feeling is generated within you. When you fall in love with yourself, you don’t need those fleeting romantic/sexual highs to complete your life.
ReplyDeleteI agree with everyone. I think some people are definitely obsessed with the idea of love and they move from relationship to relationship because they often have so many issues with themselves that they don't want to be alone. I think this often stems from a person's insecurities. Passion cannot be the sole foundation of a relationship because that will fade and then the person will just move onto the next person.
ReplyDeleteLove . . that is the subject that science still hasn't figured out. Love doesn't have envy, jealousy, anger, or any of the negative emotions expressed by those who claim to be in love. If we truly practice and respected love then perhaps a new outcome would be possible. Love is overrated and this causes individuals to expect sparks and all kinds of out of the ordinary things to happen when they are in love.
ReplyDeletethank you everyone
ReplyDeletei thought i was the problem with the way i thought love is supposed to go
love can be overrated but it is nice to have someone...