I have been dealing with so much loss in my life the past month and I have been holding all my pain in because I have so much to do with work and school and I feel like I can't let it all out because it will be too much to deal with but this past week I broke down. Over a month ago my grandmother died on my mom's side. Then a couple weeks later my other grandmother died. Then this past week my cousin who is 15 and lives out of state was riding his bike and he was hit by a truck and after being in a coma he passed. I am having such a hard time with this feeling of loss. I don't know how to deal with it. We've talked about loss and faith in our circles and I felt so strong then and now I feel so weak. I know my grandmothers were older and lived a long life but I can't understand losing my cousin who was so young. Also I was so hysterical that I couldn't even make it out of bed since I found out Wednesday and I missed my classes Thursday and now I feel like I am behind. I'm supposed to keep everything together( school, work, family, relationships) but I feel like I am doing such a bad job. I don't know, I think I am rambling but thank you to those who read this, I think I needed to vent what I feel like I can't say out loud.
I am deeply sorry for your losses. I believe you have every right to let your feelings out because it is what helps us move on to be stronger. I know you are trying to be strong and hold it together and that is to be admired but you should also remember that it is ok to let your feelings out if you tend to hold them in. It is totally healthy. and I'm glad you did here. I wish there was more i could say to comfort you than I hope you feel better but i really do hope you feel better. =)
ReplyDeleteThings will set itself straight. Life, shit happens, but always remember that the most beautiful of all flowers grows from the nastiest shit.
ReplyDeleteHope that made your day.
You are only human, and a strong one at that. Sometimes we all need a moment to just fall apart and cry out all of our pain. It is an intense experience to lose a loved one but you have lost 3 in a short time period. TIme means nothing. Just remember to live in the present moment and do not think about the future because the future always has some way of working itself out. At this moment, you need you family and loved ones support and they need you. Thank you for sharing your pain with us and just remember how you rebuild a rainbow...
ReplyDeleteOne color at a time. :)
I also recently lost two very important people in my life. And at the moment of their death, I did not think I could go on. But I did. Because they would want me to and I want to. Continue your Grandparent's legacy for they would be so proud of you. And remember the beautiful memories you had with your young cousin as they will heal you.
I hope you have a more peaceful weekend because you deserve it. Please post more if you feel the need to vent again. We will be here!
Thank you all for your support. Your written words mean so much to me!
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