Tuesday, May 31
why change
I haven't really posted my own blogs because I don't feel that confident in putting my ideas out there for everyone to see them. Instead, this quarter i just tended to read other peoples post and comment on some of them. I realize that a lot of females have relationship problems and I hope this current scenario that I'm experiencing might help some females actually analyze their relationships or the way they see them. My sister in law is current staying at my place because she left her boyfriend. This is already the 4 time she has left him for the same reasons. According to her, he has several girls and he constantly physically and mentally abuses her. I have gone several times to help her out after he has injured her, but she continues to go back with him. She called the police once and put him a restriction order but after a few days she went back with him. I advised her several times to just start over with someone else or to just concentrate on her future but she cannot see her future without him. Ever since she left him, she continue to call him and to go out with him. She is always saying that he is going to change but his not. I know it might sound cruel but is the true. If he hasn't the last 4 times she has left him what makes her think that his going to change this time. He will continue to hurt her physically and mentally and thats not going to stop until someone puts a stop to him. So for all of you girls that believe that guys are going to change, as a guy ill tell you that more than likely its not going to happen. So if your in an abusive relationship the best advise i can give you is to just let him go and move on. Their are a lot of other guys that are going to treat you better. Always think about yourself first because if you don't than the abuse will continue and it can reach to a point where someone can get kill!
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yes! in Sociology of Violence in America, you'll learn statistically that a lot of women WILL DIE in those cases!
ReplyDeleteBe it suicide or homicide or slow physical and mental torture.
She needs to get out of there, fast. From a psychological stand point, I'd like to ask if there is pattern in her home, family, friends, or neighborhood who goes through the same things.
Sociologically, what other observations have you seen that might attribute this besides ethnicity and gender?
Either way, you are giving great advice.
I was in a similiar situation several years ago. One day when my ex-boyfriend went to run an errand I found the spare key to his truck and took off. I had to find his keys because he took my car keys away. He would put them in the safe so that I couldn't leave. I am so glad I left at that time because I probably would not have had another chance to do so.
ReplyDeleteExcellent advice! We are all responsible for our lives. At some point we have to take responsibility for the human incarnation we embody on this planet and decide that we re going to be good to ourselves. I have lived through many dark nights, feeling like I was going insane, staying in an abusive situation because I felt deficient and didn't believe that I could survive without someone else in my life. Luckily I found my strength and moved on. Hopefully your friend will discover her innate strength from this experience and realize that she is capable enough to live without him, or anybody else. You really have to love yourself and be your own advocate.No-one can save you. You have to make a decision to save yourself.
ReplyDeletewhat i have troubling about her situation is that one night he was choking her and his mom had to get between him in order to stop him from choking her. when i heard this i got heated but i didn't do anything because of my son. instead i just helped her in taking her in my home. but its scary to live in that type of relationship.
ReplyDeletewow I cannot believe she is going through this. She needs to get out of that relationship as soon as possible before it is too late.
ReplyDeleteEveryone here is right.
ReplyDeleteIt can and will be too late.
Wish you guys could've taken Violence in America with Professor Emily Fry. She's no longer here, but she brought in women who were in abused relationships. She showed videos and statistics of women that die, go to shelters, and how majority of them end up going back to that guy.
It's called the chain of violence, and in the end, it becomes a circle. Those men need to be thrown in jail and becomes someones bitch and see how that's like. It's funny, yet illegal, but some deputies will tell other inmates what crime these wife beaters are in jail for.
And guess what? They become the beat-tee.