
"A moment in space"
Editing pictures is so much fun and writing papers is so not. I "should" get back to my paper now...booooh :[
So in the beginning of the quarter I began talking to this guy. We got along great and he made me feel all mushy inside, and then he dropped a bomb on me. He told me he was moving about 30 mins away because the place where he was staying at, he was staying with his ex, they had broken up for about a month ago after 3 years and not only that but she was 15 years older than him. My first thought was to hang up and run the other way but my instinct told me to give it some time. After a resent fight he had gotten into with his ex’s 20-year-old daughter he punched a wall and broke his hand, therefore he couldn’t work. So now the charming, funny, cute guy that made my heart dropped every time he texted me was 30 minutes away with a broken hand, no car and with more baggage then if he was going away for a year. Everyone told me to run the other way, even my brain, but something inside of me even bigger convinced me to stay. He reassured me it was over with his ex and repeated how he need it a friend. I looked at him and saw a wounded person, and I couldn’t stand seeing my middle school friend suffering alone. He said he was over her but not over the betrayal and I could understand that because I was going through a similar situation with my ex of 4 years but I too was wounded. Everything was fine for a few weeks, we did have our pull and push moments because we were both afraid to jump into something and were afraid to get hurt but I would talk to him when he was bored out of his mind because he could not work and even drove the 30 mins to go see him about once a week. I was slowly putting my guard down and allowed myself to get comfortable with him and the idea that he was going to be around, and this is when out of nowhere everything changed. He began to be really short with be in our texts and stopped being as sweet. Eventually the texts stopped all together and I did not understand where the change came from. I realized it was for the best and did not try to pursue it but just let it die on its own but now I can’t help but feel a little used. I was there for him while he was in a rut and now that everything is coming together with him going back to work and his life getting back on track he dropped me like nothing. I felt that he could have at least given me a heads up. Many reasons of why he stopped calling or lost interest come to mind but at the end of the day they do not really matter. Although I am a little disappointed( I won’t allow myself to feel more than a little disappointed) I am a little mad at myself for not listening to my reason, to my logic and listen to that gut feeling that wanted to keep feeling butterflies whenever I saw his number popping up on my phone screen. Why do we continue to do something when we know it’s not good for us? I wanted to give this guy a chance because my heart told me to so should I stop listening to my heart from now on? Dating can be so confusing sometimes!