I wanted to share with everyone my experience this weekend and would love to hear your thoughts on it.
For the reative paper, I attended an event in Santa Monica. As I stood in the background, I observed the happiness and liveliness people maintained as they interacted with each other. It became overwhelming, and I too became to feel happy. Surprisingly, though I was lost in the background, a part of me felt like I belonged there. However, as I was about to leave, I removed myself from being a spectator to becoming an active participant in the group ... I bought an item at the gift store. What surprised me was the cashier, who made it a point not to make eye contact with me. Though previously as a spectator I was overwhelmed with a sense of belonging, at that moment infront of the cashier, I became aware of my statuses. I was the only Latin person there and more than likely the only one from a low socioeconomic class. Just that action of being denied eye contact made be feel like an outcast. What difference it makes being just in the background to being an outsider in a group!
So my question is, do our statuses always make us who we are? Can we not be stripped away from them? Is that why people maintain networks that are similar to themselves to avoid experiences like the one I had? Or is it the social structure that perpetuates these statuses? Will it ever be possible to eliminate these statuses inherently ascribed to us?
my personal advice is to retain your feeling of belonging with the group and dismiss a cashier's inability to make contact at that time - she or he might be a jerk or just disturbed at that time. Sometimes we bake too much meaning into a gesture (or, in this case, lack of gesture). Meantime, it's hard to believe there was an event in LA that had only one Latin person. I look forward to hearing more.
ReplyDeletei agree with Dr. Tabor, you shouldn't let one person's action change your whole outlook on the situation. Although I must admit, I've done that myself before. And I can honestly say it was because I took it a little too personal than I should have. Sometimes we just assume the worst of the situation before really knowing the whole truth. And you know what happens when we assume :)
ReplyDeleteLOVE YOURSELF! IF YOU DO THEN NOONE WILL BE ABLE TO TEAR YOU DOWN FROM THE PERSON WHO YOU ARE CONVERTING INTO. THIS SHOULD NOT SURPRISE YOU BECAUSE IF YOU REALLY THINK ABOUT IT HOW MANY TIMES A DAY DO YOU CHANGE YOUR ROLES?
ReplyDeletein my experience, when one someone is acting like a jerk, i try to be the nicest person to them because i feel that they're probably going through a JERK day and there only outlet of releasing it is by passing it on.... you'll get a better understanding once you're the only person being nice to that jerk and that jerk turns into a better person because not all people are... jerks.. :). you can change someone that is negative into a positive person.
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