Wednesday, February 18
Networks within networks
I noticed something this weekend about the networks we make. I consider co-workers a network, but within the group of co-workers we select who we want to befriend outside of work which is another form of network. We are selective within those networks. I say this because it makes me think something that happened this weekend at work. A few co-workers planned to go to a bar after work so they were spreading the word but doing it selectively; they did not invite a co-worker who is kind of a jerk to everyone. I felt bad but this guy is really obnoxious and we wanted to take a breather from work (It was Valentine's night and we work at a restaurant) because work was craaaazy so he would killed the vibe and made it uncomfortable. It made me think of how selective we are even with a group we're only having a drink with and see on a consistent basis.
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yes! I tend to do the same thing... I have a group of friend who i hang around with and another set of freind who are really just my co- workers. yea, at times you just have to get away from people who are very negative. I think in every job you have that one person who just annoys everyone.. we do need breaks from the negative energy they carry..
ReplyDeleteNegative energy is a physical, empirical, measurable thing! So is positive energy. We have heard this and say, yeah, yeah - like it's a scientific finding. We need to learn it as a life tool: positive energy precedes you and follows you, like a bubble. Why not use this empirical fact to support our lives?
ReplyDeleteI agree with blackeye...I feel that if we don't choose our networks we would be miserable. Especially being around a person who is a jerk, I don’t think it was wrong the individual was not invited. Hopefully he fines out about it, maybe he will change his evil ways.
ReplyDeleteOr perhaps the gentleman already feels like an outsider, which is why he tends to act like a jerk to the people he feels exclude him? Perhaps including him would ease tensions at work? I'm not advocating for or against inviting him (or anyone else); I am advocating for seeing other points of view. You are right that we choose our networks; as such, we can choose an exclusionist philosophy, or we can choose to step outside our comfort zones to get to know someone we may not like.
ReplyDeleteCome to think of it, I would have liked to see the outcome if you had invited him. If he declined the invitation at least you could say you tried to be friendly; if he said yes then maybe my hypothesis is correct.
(And of course GrinchyGirl speaks from experience, that's why she's Grinchy :) )
I think Grinchy Girl makes some valid points. Although I'm not a jerk like the guy in question, I tend to be quiet and a bit distant, mostly out of social awkwardness. Unfortunately, this leads other people to conclude that I am unsociable and might be a downer, so I am often excluded from invitations. This, in turn, makes me feel like even more of an outsider so the cycle begins again. I think reaching out to this guy outside of the work environment may prove very enlightening. Of course he may still be jerk outside of work, but at least the attempt to befriend him socially will have been made and you may find out that he's not such a bad guy after all.
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