Can You Be Trusted?

A couple of weeks ago, I was reading a magazine and I read something the interviewee said. It caught my attention and I thought it was accurate. It said "... Trust takes one second to lose and a lifetime to rebuild." Trusting someone fully is quite difficult and it may take a while for it to happen. Some may say “It’s hard for me to trust people” or “I have trust issues”. This depends on the person as well. It may seem easy when the trust they have with someone has never been broken, but it's different when one always gets betrayed and experience disloyalty on a daily basis. Your trust can be broken in diverse ways. When you think you truly know someone and then they turn their backs on you, you can’t help but be shocked and hurt. Trust can be lost between families, friends, significant others, associates, etc. I’ve experienced losing trust in former friends and it does take a very long time to be restored. Sometimes trust can be lost forever. To this day, I am still unable to trust them. How do you all feel about what the interviewee said and how do you feel about trust being broken and if there is a possibility, being rebuilt??

...i would like reassurance about next 3 weeks...

• on March 2 if we do not have an appt with Dr. Tabor we still have to turn in Library paper. right? ... where?
• on March 9th week 1:1s continue and the developed paper do this week. ... where are we meeting in her office? classroom? we bring all of our work on our meeting day right?
• on our final day (different for day and night) we bring in our blog paper to our classroom? these are my questions - if anyone can clarify them that would be great thanks!

GOOD TIMES

Any time you meet a payment. - Good Times.
Any time you need a friend. - Good Times.
Any time you’re out from under.
Not getting hassled, not getting hustled.
Keepin’ your head above water,
Making a wave when you can.
Temporary lay offs. - Good Times.
Easy credit rip offs. - Good Times.
Scratchin’ and surviving. - Good Times.
Hangin in a chow line - Good Times.
Ain’t we lucky we got ‘em - Good Times.

These are the lyrics for Norman Lear TV Show “Good Times”. How I had the lyrics to this song in my head as I went to the grocery store for the first time in two months.

As I went shopping for items to replenished my pantry I was reflecting upon the economic situation we are currently facing. I did not have much money to shop with so I was extra careful with my purchase. So I was trying to keep my head above water.

How to accomplish such a feat, such as keeping my head above water? First, I made two lists. The first list contained purchased that I need immediately. The second list contained purchased that I need to restock my pantry and or freezer. I made my list and took along my coupons. Most of everything I wanted to purchase with the coupons was higher than the sale items. So I had to reconstruct my list.

After shopping I stopped by my mother house. She asked for my to assistance in making a vegetable garden for this year. She wanted to go to a particular nursery for certain vegetables that she was unable to find in the nursery in her area. In return for my assistance, since I live in an apartment, I would be able to plant what I want in her garden. (a second but good option)

I choose to plant items which I could use for canning or freeze for later use. For instance, I want to plant tomatoes, which I could freeze and use in soup, and pasta later on in the year. The tomatoes could also be used in fresh salad, etc.

Just trying to scratch and surviving. Good Times

All Writers: remaining assignments

1. library paper due next week. if your 1:1 is later, hand it in early, come to classroom with it, put it in my office door envelope prior to due time, or send it to a fellow student for print out and delivery. On the article you downloaded: only 2 quotes from it, not 3 (not enough room for 3). Here's a sample Library Paper. You see, I am looking for a clean, clear structured paper about what you looked for, what you found, and your feelings and observations about it.
2. check here for your 1:1 time. Meet in classroom. EoS can come in then.
3. Develop one paper. It could very well be from your "library research" or any other of your papers. Choose your very best effort for the term, due week 10. 3 pages. At least 1 citation, ASA style. Use the reference to ground your thoughts in sociological research.
4. Final day due: 1 page on blogging experience. see SAMPLE
5. All EVENING papers are in the A-Z "Bin" in Soc office until Monday night.

Interracial Dating

I was just wondering: how many of you out there are in an interracial realtionship? Have you ever has to face any discrimination or get looks from people when you are together? I find it interesting that as much as people say that they are not racists or prejudice against other groups of people, their actions speak otherwise. I am Latina and my boyfriend is African American and we always get stared at by other Latinos or African Americans in a negative way. My family loves him and his family loves me. What's the big deal?

Are gender networks acceptable?

Is is okay for guys to have many girl friends without being labeled gay? We have all heard the stereotype, a guy who hangs with a lot of girls is homosexual. What if the guy is heterosexual with a lot of girl friends? Likewise, is it okay for girls to have many guy friends without being labeled a slut? This comment seems to be the more common than gaybashing a guy. When a girl has too many guy friends she is labeled. Is it a threat on the other gender and therefore they label the person or is it just a jealous person's name calling? I guess I'm asking classmates perspective whether having friends of the opposite sex is a acceptable, why or why not?

Vibes

Could it possibly be true that certain vibes keep us from talking to certain people? It does for me! It affects me tremendously.It is impressive that when walking into a room filled with with ill humored people, the vibe screams at you - as if telling you to run, and safe yourself.lol... People's vibe and attitude can ruin yours - only if you allow that to happen. My advice, run ! If you are bold enough though , address it. Just a thought.

Fear of change

I lead a certain kind of life, I think in a certain pattern, I have certain beliefs, and i dont want those patterns of existence to be disrupted because I have my roots in them...... Im I fearing change? or I'm I fearing to loose my identity?

Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

In the book Four Agreements, Ruiz speaks about the following:
1. Be Impeccable With Your Word
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
2. Don't Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.
3. Don't Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
4. Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.
Retrieved from Don Miguel Ruiz and Don Jose Ruiz Website http://www.miguelruiz.com/fouragreements.html February 19, 2009 9:11 AM

Taking things Personal

Mother often tells me not to take things personal. At first I thought this would be simple for me to do.With age, I have realized that is not the case. I constantly remind me to do this even though it is part of human nature to make oneself the victim. Next time someone is yelling at you , remind yourself that it's their issue and not yours. Thanks MT for reminding me that today.

Networks within networks

I noticed something this weekend about the networks we make. I consider co-workers a network, but within the group of co-workers we select who we want to befriend outside of work which is another form of network. We are selective within those networks. I say this because it makes me think something that happened this weekend at work. A few co-workers planned to go to a bar after work so they were spreading the word but doing it selectively; they did not invite a co-worker who is kind of a jerk to everyone. I felt bad but this guy is really obnoxious and we wanted to take a breather from work (It was Valentine's night and we work at a restaurant) because work was craaaazy so he would killed the vibe and made it uncomfortable. It made me think of how selective we are even with a group we're only having a drink with and see on a consistent basis.

life or death situation

one phone call, one letter, one email can change your life forever. then at that moment you realize to yourself how involve and uninvolved some people in your life is. i get a call that i might have cervical cancer and now i have to go in and get a whole bunch of test done to make sure. then i realize who i called and said this too and how many people want to be there to make sure things are going to be okay. those are people you need to keep in your life. the people that are going to be there when things get really hard, and almost unbelievable.

Change

I find the recent dialogue that many people are re-enrolling in school due to the economy very interesting. Personally, I find the academic environment to be satisfying and inspirational! It can provide you with numerous opportunities as well as acquaintances. I think that our country is desperate for change (obviously!) and desperate for inspiration. Inspiration is a great catalyst. Perhaps we collectively feel as though we need to arm ourselves intellectually for the future. We must prepare and do the necessary 'work' in order to create a better world. There is a saying that things must get worse before they can get better. I think that this is a very exciting time for everyone in terms of change. I think that we have consciously or sub-consciously realized that we all need to participate and take responsibility for our (collective) future and it is inspiring to me at least to hear that more people are taking that realization and choosing to further educate themselves.

GREAT CHANGE QUOTES!

“Be the change you want to see in the world.” -Mahatma Gandhi
“We cannot change our past. We can not change the fact that people act in a certain way. We can not change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude.” - Charles R. Swindoll
"The key to change... is to let go of fear.” -Rosanne Cash
“Even though we've changed and we're all finding our own place in the world, we all know that when the tears fall or the smile spreads across our face, we'll come to each other because no matter where this crazy world takes us, nothing will ever change so much to the point where we're not all still friends.”
“Life can either be accepted or changed. If it is not accepted, it must be changed. If it cannot be changed, then it must be accepted.”

I'm a Good Place to Start

After reflecting back on the class discussion about individual perceptions, I realize that my own thought process can contribute to what I despise the most and that is to be treated differently. It may be naïve to think that it’s possible to be treated as an equal seeing that we live in a society that loves to categorize. I would like to be seen as a human being, no more no less. I realize it has to start with someone, so it might as well start with me. I need to stop trying to predetermine what someone is all about because that act alone is treating someone differently. I need to just be who I am and trust that my aura as a loving individual is not in vain. It would be more beneficial to my spiritual being if I practice not letting others affect who I am and just be who I am to me, if that makes any sense. I love the positive spin that Dr. Tabor puts on situations. I can only hope that with practice I too can possess such qualities with little to no effort.

Valentine's Day is my mother's favorite holiday. I remember growing up, she always gave me and my siblings a red flower. She is now 73 years old and has kept this tradition. It's funny because I was just thinking, tomorrow is Valentines Day. The first thing that came to mind was that, I must go to my mother's house to receive my red rose. It's amazing how a family member can continue to carry such small detail through out the years. What makes Valentine's Day so special to you? If it does and if not why?

Quotes about Writing

Some stuff i found that might be something to think about when writing....
4 "Words, once they are printed, have a life of their own." ~Carol Burnett
4 "Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self." Cyril Connolly
4 "Beneath the rule of men entirely great, the pen is mightier than the sword." ~Edward Bulwer-Lytton
4 "The skill of writing is to create a context in which other people can think."~Edwin Schlossberg
4 "A scrupulous writer, in every sentence that he writes, will ask himself at least four questions, thus: 1. What am I trying to say? 2. What words will express it? 3. What image or idiom will make it clearer? 4. Is this image fresh enough to have an effect?" ~George Orwell "Politics and the English Language", 1946

A Union of Human Beings

I was most intrigued by Denzel Washington's character because of his secret cause. He wanted to create a union of workers with intigrated members no matter what race or status they were. His passion was deep that he continued his protest even with dangerous consequences. A student from CSULA once told me that if I were to read Martin L. King's Speeches, I would find that he was also trying to raise collective conscience among the lower and working classes. I like to image that such an idea is possible.

The Undisguised Spectator

I wanted to share with everyone my experience this weekend and would love to hear your thoughts on it.

For the reative paper, I attended an event in Santa Monica. As I stood in the background, I observed the happiness and liveliness people maintained as they interacted with each other. It became overwhelming, and I too became to feel happy. Surprisingly, though I was lost in the background, a part of me felt like I belonged there. However, as I was about to leave, I removed myself from being a spectator to becoming an active participant in the group ... I bought an item at the gift store. What surprised me was the cashier, who made it a point not to make eye contact with me. Though previously as a spectator I was overwhelmed with a sense of belonging, at that moment infront of the cashier, I became aware of my statuses. I was the only Latin person there and more than likely the only one from a low socioeconomic class. Just that action of being denied eye contact made be feel like an outcast. What difference it makes being just in the background to being an outsider in a group!

So my question is, do our statuses always make us who we are? Can we not be stripped away from them? Is that why people maintain networks that are similar to themselves to avoid experiences like the one I had? Or is it the social structure that perpetuates these statuses? Will it ever be possible to eliminate these statuses inherently ascribed to us?

Sociology Majors

Hi everyone! I'm interested to know what some of the other people in our class plan to do with an education in Sociology. What fields will you be going into? What do you hope to accomplish with your knowledge, the concepts and skills?

The Great Debaters

Movies like this one not only motive us to become better but encourage us to see beyond . We learn to understand things like racism and sexism. We have surely come some way now. It motivated me and movies like The Great Debater open our eyes to what African Americans went through.

Deliverable

Hello,

Can anyone give me an example of how to use the deliverable with a beginning, middle and end?

Thank you!

Freedom

Have you ever sat down and thought about having freedom? whether it is at home, at work, at school, on the street or even just the illusion of what it means to be free? It did not occur to me that i have so much freedom in this country than what my parents had in their country when they were growing up until we had the discussion in one of my classes on Thursday. i can honestly say that i take allot of the things that America offers its people for granted. i have freedom of speech, religion, thought, sexual preference, education, so on so forth. I'm sure other countries have their own "freedom" rights, but America seems to cover all the ones that directly matter to a citizen. sure there are flaws in our constitution and some of the things do not make sense to us, because it was written so long ago, but it touches on allot of things other countries do not even consider to be a right for a citizen. the bill of rights amends all the rights i listed above plus many others. I'm lucky to live in this country and be able to express all the things that matter to me freely.

question regarding The Great Debaters paper

hi professor, is it mandatory to include theories/themes from the sociologists in the paper? for example, do we give an example of a theory that relates to a sociology theme in the movie? or is it not mandatory? because if we do... it seems to be more like a research paper. can we just look for themes in the movie that relates to sociology and then explain how it was portrayed in the movie?

The Great Debaters - themes

There are several great themes in The Great Debaters. You can write a more trenchant paper by selecting a theme rather than trying to capture everything in this rich movie. Thanks, Boo2, for starting one on what W.E.B. Dubois calls "the colortocracy." That is one theme. This is a time to dust off your theory books or go on line and re-read some W.E.B. Dubois, for he speaks strongly and poetically of these themes:

• colortocracy - which Boo2 started in the prior post
• church and music - the rhythms "underneath" logic
• the importance of family - and the rarity of intact families among blacks, a tradition started by slave holders who liked to break up families
• education - as a way up and out. see how Dubois and Booker T Washington differ on this topic.
• WEB Dubois even wrote about what it was like to go first to Fiske and next to Harvard. At Fiske, all black, he finally felt free because he was no longer in what he called the two-ness or the double-standard; he didn't have to think about who he was vs. who he was thought to be as a black man--he simply could be.
• Communism and organizing labor -- Dubois joined the Communist Party officially at the end of his long life

DuBois began his chapters with verse--poems and scripture. He felt that though "non-rational", it held more truth than rationality.

there are other themes in this movie, too:

• socialization and the importance of structure for a child
• socialization and the distinction between authoritarian, authoritative, and permissive
• socialization and the difference between mom and dad roles
• self determination: help yourself, be vigilant, educate yourself - if you fall down, stand back up and try again.
• self as a political animal - the personal is the political - do not make jokes about yourself (remember when one student trying out made fun of himself and the teacher's reaction?)
• the sociology of law and social control
• fashion and style and dressing up in public - the dignified "vibe" of this group of people and the "vibe" of today's media-pop-casual-global culture. Aretha Franklin's hat and plaid underwear. Chopin and gangsta rap.
• Gender, Sex, Birds, Bees - that ever-present theme and drive
• themes captured in the debates themselves, e.g.,
  non-violence
  justice, fairness - is this natural in the human heart? she said something like "a law cannot override the sense of fairness we have inside."
  separate but equal or separate but unequal - and how it fits in with today's "diversity"
  diversity over unity

Hooray for Denzel Washington, Director. Remember this is not a movie review: it's not about "I liked it; I loved it." You are not a movie critic. You are looking for a sociological theme or two and how this movie illuminates them.

The Great Debaters

I found it intersting the color difference of the women in the movie. The two wives shown and the girl debater have light complexion while the main woman singing at the bar has a darker complexion. The bar can be seen as the bad place to be while the home and church is the place where the good women should to be. Good v. bad? Does the skin difference in the women represent this or am I just looking too much into it?

How Can I be Me

It is hard to be oneself, why? because we are constantly told by the media that one should act or be a certain way. From the weight we should have to the mattress we should sleep on. "You should be yourself" is what teachers tell you growing up - easier said than done. Individualism should be the message given not what brand you should wear nor how provacative you should act to get attention (especially women)

Super Bowl

I just had a thought today since it is Super Bowl Sunday. We have many networks in our lives but which one of those networks will we be watching the game with? Friends? Family? Co-workers? Or some other group we affiliate with?