This is my last quarter and i find it to be the hardest, not because of the curriculum but because my grandmother is passing away.I have been preparing myself for this moment for about a year now and yet i am not ready. My grandmother is a strong woman but her time is ending and i am unable to let her go.
I am grateful that it is happening gradually so i can say good bye and spend time with her but i hate seeing her suffer, in and out of the hospital, seeing my grandma on morphine hurts me bc it confuses her and she can't think straight, grant it yes it is helping her pain but she's different. My family alternates nights, one with grandpa and one with grandma at the hospital
I spend two nights out of the week with my grandparents and it is exhausting.
Any words of encouragement would help.....i am tired, but i also know my grandmother is too.
P.s Sorry for being a Debbie Downer,
but thank you for reading my post...i needed to get it off my chest
there's really nothing I can say that can help you much but from your post you seem like a good person who is doing all you can do. Hold on to your faith and keep strong. This world needs more people like you.
ReplyDeleteyou are not a debbie downer. it takes courage to tell a group of complete strangers what you're going through. my advice is, you can overcome almost anything as long as your heart is in it. Be strong!
ReplyDeleteThank you for taking the time to read my post. I am trying to be strong, strong for my mother and for my grandmother.
ReplyDeleteall i can do is take each day as they come
you're right bat. One day at a time.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry, life is hard and it's great that you can open up about the pains in your life.. too many people keep it in, so I'm glad you could post about it to us. It's good to see you can see both sides to the situation (that you have time to say good-bye, but that it's hard to say good-bye).. I'm so sorry you're going through this right now, but that at least you're graduating this quarter (: only 5 more weeks..!
ReplyDeleteThank you Sarah, i forget that i am accomplishing that goal in 5 weeks. But with everything going on in my life right now graduating does not seem as important as it once was....
ReplyDeleteThank you everyone
I feel better today.
Last quarter was the hardest for me, as my grandmother passed away during finals week. She fell and broke several bones and was confined to a nursing home where she could have 24 hour care. She also had dimensia. My family did the same as yours, alternated days and nights with her. She developed pneumonia and her body couldn't handle the infection. This happened just as finals started for me. I was writing a 10 page history paper, preparing a project, studying for 2 other finals, and calling home (as she was on the east coast) about every 2 hours. I couldn't sleep because every time I felt myself drift off, I envisioned the phone ringing and would shake myself awake. I got to visit with her at Christmas, talk to her, and tell her how much I loved her. Three days after I finished my last final my sister called and said her breathing had changed and they were calling absent family members to allow them to talk to her. She passed an hour and a half after I spoke to her. I looked at flights and was stunned at the $1,000 price tag to fly home, even with bereavement fares. I couldn't afford that so I sent a beautiful floral arrangement to the funeral home and spoke with my family frequently the day of her funeral. I miss her terribly and it was really hard to be so far from home when she passed. When I told all of my close friends what had happened that day I got to share her spirit with everyone close to me. Ever since that day it has been as though she never left. I felt that day (and still do) that she was at peace, no longer suffering. Of course I would prefer her to still be here, but honestly, it's as if she never left. I get the overwhelming sense that she is happy. I can still hear her voice and see her smile. I feel like I have support from the "other side". Hang in there. It gets better but it takes time. Your grandma knows how much you love her, and she loves you. That is the most important thing. Keep your head up. Lots of prayers headed your way.
ReplyDeletehey, sorry to hear ur going thru this. I kno ur going thru a tough situation rite now but, jus know, ur grandmother will be going to a better place. This world is so jacked up. She'll be at peace after she leaves this world. It sux for u, but it may be better for her. Keep strong!
ReplyDeleteHey sorry that ur going thro this, but I believe it hurts so much more seing some one suffer till death than all of usuden. My grandma passed away last year and it was very quick.. she got a stoke. Stood in coma for a day and passed away. At the beginning I cried and said to myself how mad I was for taking my grandma but my mom told me that one we get old our bodies get tired and soon they just need to rest.. and no matter what my grandma will always be there for me taking care of me.. and that's what I'm going to tell u.. I know its hard but stay strong.. we will one day see them again..
ReplyDeletei am very sorry for wat u r going thru, reading this just made me look back at the same situation i went thru a year ago with my grandma it is really tough seeing them like that knowing they will leave, i was actually by my grandmas bedside wen she died i couldnt and still cant believe it i guess u could say i took her for granted, i always thought she was gonna b here forver and now i have many regrets but i like how u spend so much time with her i wish u and ur family nothing but the best! just know that u r not alone!
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