Saturday, February 11
Valentine's Day....what's the big deal
I used to make a big happy deal about Valentine's Day. Ever since I started dating my boyfriend 5 years ago it seemed to all go downhill. He is very anti-social and the biggest party pooper ever. Now I don't mean that we have to party but once in a while would be nice to go out dancing just me and him. Not sure if pooper is spelled that way. Feel free to correct that por favor. He forgets that day, then gets mad because he says it's like any other day. He does have a point, but still I would like him to say something that day. Some people might say that if he treats me right and is good to me then that's fine. Yes but still we are young and we should enjoy life to the fullest safely. We can't be just stuck at home. Sometimes I wonder what am I still sticking around. You still hope that that person might change one day.My mom would say that maybe that someone is out there for me and that I just haven't found him. There is more to the story but I wish not to be too explicit about it as it is a bit personal. I did want to share some of my story maybe someone out there is going through what I'm going through.
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Wow. You just reminded me of my previous relationship that lasted almost 7 years. Could it be my ex? jk :) . I always told myself that he would change and that it would be different. It was a lot of things that he would do , say, or just didn't do that made me open my eyes and realize that he wasn't for me. He was a machista too, and since I was too blinded by love i just let it continue. Letting him go was the best thing I ever did. I am not saying to let go of your relationship, that's your decision. This is just something that i went through and wanted to share with you so you know that you are not alone. Good luck and i wish you well
ReplyDeleteThank you. I'm not even sure if it is love that I feel anymore. I guess I'm just prolonging the relationship but I have no idea why. Gotta see what i have to do. I must do what's best.
ReplyDeleteAs for going out and being social,if he does not want to then that is fine. Let him do what makes him comfortable and happy, and you do the same. Go out without him, get some friends together and go dancing, he might start joining. My current partner is a homebody, I am not. I will go out and do my thing but I let him know he is always welcomed to come along. Sometimes he does and others he stays at home with his PS3 lol.
ReplyDeleteAs for Vday, have you tried doing something special for him on this day? I have never been big on this holiday. If I do anything with my guy it always involves making something for the other person (not buying), which I think shows more meaning anyways. On our first Vday together it was me who surprised him (We were friends beforehand and knew he was the kind of person that was planning anything). We were long distance then, so I drove over 500 miles to see him without telling him, made a little gift and made/wrote a card as well. What I did/wrote made him cry (do not let him know I told you that part lol!), he said he was so touched by what I did and that no one had ever said those kinds of things before to/about him. The following year, well he had a wonderful surprise for me and made me cry too. He wanted to make me feel just as loved too. So my point is, is that you can not just tell him to change he has to want to and actually do it on his own. And that saying "treat others how you would like to be treated" really works sometimes.
Also, if you are afraid you are not in love anymore try to test that feeling. See if you can put some romance in or whatever it is you feel the relationship is lacking and see if that "love" grows stronger. If not, you might be loving the old him, the ideal him, or the fact of being with someone. Many people after being together for awhile have a hard time thinking about being "alone" again. I always like to do a Pros and Cons list to see if it's worth fighting through the hard times.
That is so true thank you very much monica. He says that going dancing is bad. And as far as going out somewhere well were always short on money. I knoe that money is not neeeded to have fun, but i'm getting tired already i feel that as i'm getting older my whole life has passed me by already I'm going to be an old bitter old women. At first everything was nice like it always is, but you get to know that real person as the years go buy. I have a feeling it's not going to work we are 5 years into the relationship and i'm getting bored. If I go out he says that's bad that my friends are a bad influence. They are not.
ReplyDeleteI was with a guy for 5 years, and he was similar to the way you described your boyfriend. He's probably no going to change his ways. My ex, never made my birthdays or holidays special.The day before my birthday he will call me and tell me " ay....what size are you in shirts, a small right? there's these shirts here that look like the ones you wear should I get them?" lol.. not very romantic! When I opened my gift I had to act suprised because I already knew what was in the bag! lol...I would always go all out and buy him a huge Valentine's Day card, and a bear and make a collage with pictures of us, but it got old!I was tired of being the only one putting effort onto this. So I stopped and I was just simple as he was. He never changed in that aspect! lol
ReplyDeleteBut that's probably why he is my ex lol... I guess the spark went away because there was no change! and I think change is good :) so I changed him lol....
yeah some people never change though that's the hard part.
Deleteboth genders enjoy surprises and indications of love. I wish surprise were spelled with a "z": Surprize!
ReplyDelete